The mistake

Have you ever had this piercing pain in your heart that you just couldn't explain? Well, I have. My breath is hoarse and my body feels fragile. It's so hard to keep your eyes open because the weakness is overwhelming your senses. I am standing on my feet, ready and armed, but my legs are like two sticks in the wind. They will obey the wind's control and will seek a better justice. I can't seem to comprehend the fact that I am alone. I am alone. There's nothing beside me, nobody to lean on, and no where to go. I need guidance, shelter, and comfort. A stranger, a lover, or a seeker. No matter what I do and where I go, I just can't seem to reason with myself. My heart is my adversary and my knowledge is my best friend. Or is it the other way round?!?!? They can never seem to make up their mind on any subject or topic. Taking me to a world of abstinence and granting me a wish I could never bear. A false accusation or a truthful morality. Why must they torture me so? Is it so humorous to play with a young girl's soul? You, heart, pretend as if I am a child being ridiculed for her mistakes. You think that I can't handle the very role of adulthood. You pretend as if I am nothing and nobody can feel this pain you eject inside my body. Protecting me is not what you do. Wreaking havoc is what your profession is my friend. And you, brain, how could you be so self-centered? How could you pretend that the world revolves around you? You are just another person in this miserable state trying to live by the rules. 

My heart and brain, two childish beings trying to protect me from the world's thunderous slashes. Let me be! I don't want to think, I don't want to feel because every time I do so, my body feels weak. It's difficult, very difficult to obey two very dissimilar creatures who abominate one another. I can't trust you heart for you bring false accusations in my life. I can't trust you brain for you take away my only weapon: How to be a child again. A mistake I regret not following.