Children

Awww, why are they so darn cute? Every time I see a child's face, I can honestly read his or her mind. For example, a child was walking into a store with her mother and I could see him from a distance. As soon as she saw a box of candy with a picture of Hannah Montana's face, she immediately asked her mother to buy it. Of course, her mother replied, "no." At that instant moment, she began to pout her lips and cry bitter tears. They streamed across her face and she began to wail uncontrollably. How does my mind-reading really fit into all of this? Well, when we first entered the store, I saw the same candy with a picture of Hannah Montana. "I bet that a child preferably a girl will be crying over this box of candy." When the little girl passed us crying, my mother said, "Hannah Montana." Well, there you go another innocent child crying over a box of candy that can lead to obesity, diabetes, as well as cavities. Every time my little cousin cries over a bar of Twix, I give her my lecture of how obesity is the number 1 problem Unites States citizens are concerned about. It is a pandemic issue! She widens her eyes and begins to ask me all sorts of questions. Not that I don't enjoy her curiosity, but she hardly ever takes any advice. Right after my impending speech, she immediately runs to her mother and asks her for chocolate. My aunt gives her the chocolate bar she requested. Well, at least I gave it a try.  I think that next time I am just going to steal the candy from her. As much as she cries, wails, or curses I will not give her the chocolate bar. However sometimes I can be quite the patsy. I'll just try to hold my ground for once. 

The Beat of my Heart

"Hate is such a strong." Seriously, it's never been in my vocabulary before but lately I have been using it quite often. Well, technically it's this person in my life and I just can't seem to comprehend the fact that there is something taking place behind my back. I mean a couple of years ago, I didn't even know this person and now he is going to come back into my life. In fact, a few days ago, I heard this news about this person's recent travel and he might be coming to the United States. I haven't seen him in such a long time and he "wants to see me." This hatred in my heart has been exceeding beyond belief and I feel like the fuel is being added. Uncontrollably I am calm and I can't believe it. I mean I hate this person with all my heart, soul, and being. He is the reason behind all my failures and all my distress. There is no commiseration left in my heart for him and yet I am serene? It's ridiculous but I somehow understand this "excitement" you might say. I have been hiding so long and I guess it's time to forget about all the abomination. I guess one can say I'm okay. It's okay to be unkind, it's okay to lie, it's okay to betray as long as you make it up in the end. If this person is willing to apologize and move on, there wouldn't be any hatred left. This is a weird analogy but I think it's like mowing the lawn. You have all this grass overgrown and overflowing but taking the time to mow the lawn makes the meadow look absolutely breathtaking.

I don't hold grudges but if this person fails again, I never ever going to forgive him. There are no third chances in my book and if he can't then it's over. You have no idea how much I have waited for this moment. I mean I may deny it once in a while and act stubborn but deep down I feel different. There's this butterfly in my stomach and every time it hears of a "second chance," it begins to flutter. Spreading its wing and flying through the open space. I believe I need to give the butterfly more space and more comfort. So, I'll wait patiently for more news were peace will be at my door steps. There's a chance...

The Giver's Gift

When I was in seventh grade, my English teacher made us read this book titled The Giver. Now, I am not sure if anybody has read this book before or not so I am going to provide the gist. This novel written by Lois Lowry is about an utopian town that takes preliminary steps to rid one of pain. Any kind of pain. The protagonist in this book, Jonas, is selected to inherit the position of Receiver of Memory in his town. "As Jonas receives the memories from the previous receiver-the 'Giver'- he discovers how shallow the people in his community have become." In fact, the community retains the process of eliminating pain or emotion by using pills. To them, emotions, mainly romantic love and sexuality is a dystopian. They refer to these feelings as "Stirring." I mean they believe that love will cause pain and it should therefore be eliminated. So, when you think about it every human being in this town does not experience the emotion of LOVE. What's a world without love???
Well, in my English class, we decided to hold a debate on whether or not our world should be loveless. Without picking my team or side, my teacher put me in the group where we had to convince him that our world should be loveless. Arguing a point that you don't feel passionate about proved to be quite a challenge for me. However, I was able to come up with pretty good reasonings and win my case. I remember saying that love causes more trouble than contentment. Love is the one who drives two couple to get married and love is the one who betrays them and leaves them stranded. A child all alone, loveless. Love always results in hatred. In any case, when you think about it, this is true. However, I certainly did not feel passionate about any of my arguments. Then again, life is not always fair! Love is strong and love is beautiful. I could not possibly imagine a world so weak without love.

I feel this way?

I just want one wish. This one wish is to fly away from my chores and duties just one day in my life. To listen to the birds sing their little heart out and not have to worry about anything. I want to kick back in my room and listen to music all day and long. Dance the night away without having to worry about the endless packets. To run away and sleep under the stars any where near the mountain or the lake. I want to drive all the way to Arizona or even San Diego to see my family and cherish the moments. The desire to wipe away a child's tears and tell her that everything is actually going to be okay. To stop the lies and rumors once and for all. I want to sit on a cloud and sleep the night away under her calm tears. I want to follow the rainbow and find a pot of gold settling down under her majestic arms. However, the only wish that I have right now is to finish these blogs and finish all the homework. I want to escape to a world of wonder and joy. To forget the pain in my arm, leg, and heart. I want to rescue myself from the countless gossip at school and at home. Tiring, restless, and tearful, I want to be the girl with her head held high and her sadness filled with joy. Just be calm and watch the fish fly freely in the ocean. However, my last and final wish is to sit by the ocean. To allow the waves to hug my feet and welcome me for another day. I want to follow her and listen to her stories. To be rescued and to live a life of worry-free. I have only one wish that turns out to be a wish with thousands of branches. I have only one wish?!?!?

Talk more about it...

"Risk - if one has to jump a stream and knows how wide it is, he will not jump. If he doesn't know how wide it is, he'll jump and six times out of ten he'll make it."

Sometimes when I hear my mother's proverbs, I can't help but think what exactly the theme is. Well, first we read it twice. Okay, so what this proverb is saying is that when you know the width of a stream, you will not jump because you are afraid of falling. However when you jump across the stream blindly he'll jump and make it. If you know the consequences of a cause or decision, you will not take this dangerous risk. However, if you do not  know the consequences of a decision; you will definitely not take the risk. You are making the right decision; right?!? WRONG. Life is about taking risks. You should never focus on the negative side of an issue or allow a downfall to get in your way. The person has a road all to herself/himself. This person will walk to road visiting every fork, every sign, and every rest stop filled with countless of opportunities. What happens if the person realizes the opportunity has an unintentional result? He or she will, without a doubt, leave the opportunity alone for it will change the person's life forever. Now in a real situation, this is difficult. Sometimes, in a real situation it's perplexing to not think about the impossible. I mean you are in a position were you must find a way to fix a problem but it's rather impossible. True story: Imagine you have been selected to attend a university of your choice. The first university has your major and everything possible for this career of yours. It's perfect except for one minor mishap; you don't a full scholarship to attend this university. On the other hand, the other university does not have your major in mind but provides a full scholarship for four years. Now, which will you pick? You know the problems and you know the solutions to the problems. Me, I would pick the first choice. The reason why is because I refuse to allow money to get in my way and I want to accomplish my dream no matter what. You can't select a choice just because there are no risks involved. In fact, a choice must be filled with risks because this way you will learn from your mistakes. That's life; living in the fast lane. Not dismissing the lane just because you are scared of driving fast. 

Resting time

Well, this spring break was quite relaxing. Take some time all to yourself to read a book and sit in your room. For the past few weeks, I have been sleeping about 4-5 hours a day and it was quite unhealthy for me. So, this week I slept for 8 hours a day (just as recommended). I enjoyed some of my leisure time even though some days got to be pretty hectic. However, it's time to go back to the work, to the labor, and to the worry. I regret not going to Santa Cruz over spring break because the people who could drive me there were all "busy." Oh, how I wished to visit the heavenly waves and the beauty tit provides for mother nature. I would have loved to see the seagulls crying their guts out, searching for food. I wanted to sit on the sand and feel the warmth of the rocks against my feet. However, I spent the time with my crazy cousins and their ridiculous behavior. I watched some of the craziest movies and enjoyed each minute of our time together. Now, why is it that I regret not going to Santa Cruz? A joyous moment with my family or a selfish desire to visit mother nature. I think I made the right choice but self-desire tends to make us crazy. 

Just a few more

Here's just a few more Persian Proverbs my mother wants me to remember in the future. She is very strict, as you can see.

* "A broken hand works, but not a broken heart.

* The wise man sits on the hole in his carpet.

* Do little things now; so shall big things come to thee by and by asking to be done.

* A bad wound heals but a bad word doesn't.

* Once I had the strength but no wisdom, now I have the wisdom but no strength.

* Forget not Death, O man! for thou may'st be Of one thing certain - he forgets not thee

* Tis the same to him who wears a shoe, as if the whole earth covered with leather.

* It is nothing for one to know something unless another knows you know it.

* He who knows not, and knows not that he knows not, is a fool, shun him; He who knows not, and knows that he knows not, is a child, teach him. He who knows, and knows not that he knows, is asleep, wake him. He who knows, and knows that he knows, is wise, follow him.

* I murmured because I had not shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.

* Every man goes down to his death bearing in his hands only that which he has given away.

* Silence betokens consent.

* What fear has he whose account is clean?

* He who has been bitten by a snake fears a piece of string.

* Good poets are like angels of Heaven."

Mama's words of wisdom

From mother to daughter, there are always a couple of paraphernalia that are passed down from generation to generation. In my family, proverbs are passed down; Persian proverbs to be exact. My mother always says, "when you get married, I want you to always cherish these words. Perhaps you should pass them down to your own children as well." Well, I just wanted to share a few of these Persian proverbs with you. Some are pretty funny!

* "Use your enemy's hand to catch a snake.

* Whatever in the heart will come up to the tongue. (how true)

* Thinking is the essence of wisdom.

* In the hour of adversity be not without hope For crystal rain falls from black clouds.

* By a sweet tongue and kindness, you can drag an elephant with a hair.

* A stone thrown at the right time is better than gold given at the wrong time.

* When the cat and the mouse agree, the grocer is ruined.

* Risk - if one has to jump a stream and knows how wide it is, he will not jump. If he doesn't know how wide it is, he'll jump and six times out of ten he'll make it.

* Courteous men learn courtesy from the discourteous.

* The loveliest faces are to be seen by moonlight, when one sees half with the eye and half with the fancy.

* There are four things every person has more than they know; sins, debt, years, and foes.

* One pound of learning requires ten pounds of common sense to apply it

* He who wants a rose must respect its thorns.

* If the teacher be corrupt, the world be corrupt.

* Luck is infatuated with the efficient.

* Treat your superior as a father, your equal as a brother, and your inferior as a son.

* The best memory is that which forgets nothing, but injuries. Write kindness in marble and write injuries in the dust.

* When the tide of misfortune moves over you, even jelly will break your teeth.

* Go and wake up your luck.

* Children are the Bridge to Heaven."

¿Qué sucedió?

My heart was carved into a steel.

What happened?

My life was perfect.

What happened?

You said you would always be there for me.

What happened?

You said that I was your everything.

What happened?

You told an innocent girl you loved her.

What happened?

You told her she was beautiful

worthwhile, calm, interesting, exotic

What happened?

You rescued her from a beast, a disease,

an immortal soul.

What happened?

You took her breath away and danced 

into the night. 

You held her close to your heart.

What happened?

A stranger, a mystery, or a truth.

Your love, kindness, and generosity 

was much appreciated.

What happened?

I'll tell you what happened.

You took advantage of her.

You ripped her into shreds.

You made her tears a permanent drought.

YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU.

Que sucedio porque todovia estoy en amor con usted?

My favor

Someone once said, "helping is contagious." In fact, help forms in a variety of ways and is appreciated all over the world. Being able to lend a hand and take the time to make a difference in the world is beyond kindness. Growing up in a time of desperation and need, I experienced this at a very young age. Hunger swept like a hurricane into our lives and destroyed every refuge in our hearts. I was only 5-years-old and could not comprehend the fact that food was scarce. There was nothing to do and nowhere to turn. One day we heard a knock on our door. My mother opened the door and began to laugh hysterically. The strangers introduced themselves as the volunteers of the United Nations wanting to help us. They provided us with food and took care of us while we were there. I will never forget their help, kindness, and time because without them my family would never survive. Now, there are countless of families who are struggling to make ends meet and in desperate need of food. Certain organizations like the Second Harvest Food Bank is lending a hand to all these families. It doesn't matter what your income, orientation, or race is. This organization helps everybody and does not discriminate against anybody. There are over 175,000 families who are relying on Second Harvest Food Bank to feed their family and protect their loved ones from this economic crisis. An epidemic that destroys every life, every family, and every house it touches.

Misery

Wow, I have just noticed that every one of my blogs has a very intense mood. My previous blog was about the heart and the mind continuously fighting with one another. Danielle left a comment on this blog and I suddenly realized how much sadness I was throwing out to the crowd. I mean sometimes when you are feeling down, every minute of each moment is spend drowning yourself down and pitying yourself. This definitely describes my attitude because I usually drag my friends down with me when I am feeling miserable. I realize this mistake and take full responsibility of every heartache I cause in the crowd. However, blogging helps me release all the angry out of my body and translate it into a positive atmosphere. Somehow?!?!? I was reading this story about a man who spent all his lifetime trying to figure out a cure for emotional sickness or misery. He did not understand the reason as to how our body could suffer through this damaging trauma without even controlling it. Unfortunately, he found no cure and decided to give up on his dream. However, I would love to research further into this dilemma and really ponder about this question. Why do we feel miserable? What is it in us that causes us to feel so down? Who or what could possibly allow this to happen? A question left unanswered...

The mistake

Have you ever had this piercing pain in your heart that you just couldn't explain? Well, I have. My breath is hoarse and my body feels fragile. It's so hard to keep your eyes open because the weakness is overwhelming your senses. I am standing on my feet, ready and armed, but my legs are like two sticks in the wind. They will obey the wind's control and will seek a better justice. I can't seem to comprehend the fact that I am alone. I am alone. There's nothing beside me, nobody to lean on, and no where to go. I need guidance, shelter, and comfort. A stranger, a lover, or a seeker. No matter what I do and where I go, I just can't seem to reason with myself. My heart is my adversary and my knowledge is my best friend. Or is it the other way round?!?!? They can never seem to make up their mind on any subject or topic. Taking me to a world of abstinence and granting me a wish I could never bear. A false accusation or a truthful morality. Why must they torture me so? Is it so humorous to play with a young girl's soul? You, heart, pretend as if I am a child being ridiculed for her mistakes. You think that I can't handle the very role of adulthood. You pretend as if I am nothing and nobody can feel this pain you eject inside my body. Protecting me is not what you do. Wreaking havoc is what your profession is my friend. And you, brain, how could you be so self-centered? How could you pretend that the world revolves around you? You are just another person in this miserable state trying to live by the rules. 

My heart and brain, two childish beings trying to protect me from the world's thunderous slashes. Let me be! I don't want to think, I don't want to feel because every time I do so, my body feels weak. It's difficult, very difficult to obey two very dissimilar creatures who abominate one another. I can't trust you heart for you bring false accusations in my life. I can't trust you brain for you take away my only weapon: How to be a child again. A mistake I regret not following.